As a single, white, female, yoga practitioner and kids yoga teacher in this American society, I recognize that I have choices. Regardless of my choices, I often find myself in “survival” mode aka: making ends meet, paying the bills, doing “my part” in my community, taking time for self care and nourishing myself so I can get up and do it all over again, etc. etc. I thank the teachers and the tools of yoga for the reminder that I also have a choice. I am choosing this lifestyle, but am I choosing to be single?

The fantasies of finding companionship with my strong, tall, dark, handsome, warrior play out in my imaginations in hopes the “survival” modes dissolves into and easeful transition of sharing life’s responsibilities, trials and tribulations with my love, my sweetheart, my life partner, the “ONE”.

One night while “Tindering”, I swiped right and “liked” him. The essence that exuded from his photos resonated with me. Maybe it was the way he portrayed his artistic side. Maybe it was the photo where he was barefoot with me thinking, “OMG, I love putting my bare feet on the Earth too!” Maybe it was the sweetness emanating from photo of him and his baby girl. Or, maybe it was because I so desperately wanted this person to be “the ONE,” and that is what I chose to believe.

Choice, most of us have a choice in our society, but there are some who may not have a choice, or may not beware of their choices. As a single, white, female, yoga practitioner in her 40’s, I recognize that I have choices. And the choice I made was to pursue my tall, dark, handsome, strong warrior who I was undoubtedly sure was “the ONE.”

The “relationship” with my new Tinder prospect developed and was going in the directions I had only hoped. We talked about spirituality and how there is only one-way of “being” when going into a new, healthy relationship: To be whole and complete with oneself. Of course there were other discussions around the topics of honesty, commitment, monogamy, general belief systems, what did you eat for dinner, how is your daughter, etc. And all the while I kept thinking, I found “the ONE.”

I continuously “checked in” with my intuition, magic filled the air and all the “signs” were saying, “YES, Go for it.”

“The ONE” and I lived over 2,000 miles away from one another. I thought it would be wise to take a trip south so we could actually meet in person. I am a firm believer in walking the talk, putting my money where my mouth is, taking action, etc. You get the picture. So I took a massive leap and hopped on a plane. All signs and road pointed me towards my true love.

I arrived in Atlanta, GA. and was greeted at the airport by “him”. He was real and even more striking in person. We hugged, giggled nervously, said some words and caught a taxi to the hotel. By now it was midnight and the night was still young as we had some serious connecting to do which we did over a drink. Things were going great!

We spent 3 days together in Atlanta, talking laughing, sharing meals, exploring our interests of plants, working out our “misunderstandings”, and walked the city mile after mile. Needless to say, the weekend ended on a good note. As “the ONE” said, “we survived and passed love boot camp”. Our romantic, love boot camp was coming to an end and it was time for me to catch my return flight to Seattle. A myriad of feelings rushed over me as our time together in person face to face and heart to heart was about to end. Reflecting on our short but intense encounter, there was no doubt in my mind we were meant to be together and that the Divine had blessed this relationship.

I don’t recall if it was my own wings that carried me home or the airplane. Either way, I floated home. Over for the next few weeks the magic of our love boot camp filled me up and satiated me until “the ONE” made his way out to Seattle.

Needless to say, our magical love bubble burst into flames and the ashes remain as a reminder to LISTEN. My hope that this man was “the “ONE” was still there but my intuition told me stop blowing through stop signs and ignoring red flags.

As a frequent meditator and yoga practitioner I am grateful for the tools I have collected over the years. During a meditation ceremony, the message to “sharpen and use your tools” came through loud and clear. The tools necessary for me right now are to love even more and to continue to hold this situation (including “the ONE”) in love, light and gratitude.

What am I grateful for? I am grateful for the experience to feel what I was so desiring to feel: love. I am grateful for the opportunity to truly love, honor and respect myself. And I am grateful for the unconditional and nonjudgmental support from my friends and family. One golden gem I walked away with is to love even more.

Sometimes it’s in the dark, gritty waters that we are able to call in the light, strength and beauty to fully bloom. So, when the lotus roots are marinating in the muck, just say thank you, trust, and allow the lotus to open.


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