Why is Self-Care is so Dang Hard?

You know that filling your own cup is a necessary part of being an awesome human, right? If you take care of, serve, heal, or love other humans on a daily basis, then giving back to yourself is as important, if not more so, than all the good work you do for others.

Self care maintains and protects what distinguishes you from everyone else on Earth. When you start to feel lost, unoriginal, and dull, that is a sign from the Universe that you need to give yourself some attention.

Then why, in a world that strives to be extraordinary, does the relationship you have with yourself constantly get pushed aside?

In conversations with clients and retreat participants, the answers, also known as excuses, are plentiful. Anything from “I don’t have time,” to “Self care is expensive,” to “I feel selfish,” are all limiting beliefs. I hear you, but I’m here to show you another way!

Emily-Kasman-sukhasana-yoga-retreat-nature

Decoding Self-Care Excuses

These excuses become obstacles that eventually feel overwhelming, constant and depleting. Let’s explore what they truly mean and how to overcome them.

Excuse #1: “I have no time.”

Self Care Reality: Everything you do with your time is a choice. So ask yourself, “How do I really spend my time?” If you answer with something similar to sleep, work, eat, poop, and scroll social media, you may have more time than you believe. Stephen R. Covey states that “the key is not to prioritize your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.” When self care becomes a priority, your calendar will magically find space to take care of yourself.

  • Self Care Tip: Remove the word “should” from your vocabulary. This nasty word comes with all kinds of baggage and obligation that steals time away from what could be your self care time.
Excuse #2: “I can’t afford regular self care.”

Self Care Reality: It’s not about the money! Self care does not have to be expensive. This is a fear based excuse that sprouts from a limiting belief of scarcity. Being afraid creates resistance and constriction. A piece of encouragement for you comes from Barbara Stanny. She says, “Your degree of resistance around something will be proportional to the amount of power waiting for you on the other side of that resistance.” As you begin to realize that you are resourceful beyond measure and that you are worth your time, money and energy, a mindset of abundance will wash over you.

  • Self Care Tip: Make your own salt scrub for everyday use.
    • 2 cups sea salt
    • ¼ cup almond oil
    • ¼ cup sunflower oil
    • 12 drops of your favorite essential oil mixture (My current fav is clary sage, lemongrass, and rosemary)
    • Mix all ingredients into a 16 oz glass jar and shake. Use daily in shower.
Excuse #3: “I feel selfish”

Self Care Reality: “Self Care is sexy,” as Madhuri Phillips mentions in her book “Your Irresistible Life.” She goes on to say “Self care beauty routines and soul-care practices reflect the commitment you have to honoring your self and your life.” Everyday people rely on you, need your attention and your good work, and I’m here to say, so do you! Building a life of mindful nourishment starts with setting boundaries and saying “No.”

  • Self Care Tip: Savor Your Time
    • Ask yourself what you need in order to feel taken care of
    • Schedule a wholesome event (ex: a yoga class, date night, or bubble bath) to tend to this need on your calendar
    • Then set the expectation with friends, family and work that you are unavailable during that time
    • Respectfully decline invitations or meetings that interfere with this event
    • The more you practice this, the easier it is. So start today!

As you begin to understand your own excuses around self care, moving through them will become easier than believing them. Find ways everyday to feel self-loved and nourished by the life you are living. You are worth it!


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